A HARD-BOILED VEGETARIAN DETECTIVE STORY

By
Steven Michael Fey

FADE IN

EXT - FLAMINGO ROAD LAS VEGAS - NIGHT 

BRAN (V.O.)
As near as I can figure it out, this is how it all started . . .

A heavy luxury car is moving fast. The driver is reckless, weaving in and out of traffic, bouncing over curbs.

INT- LUXURY CAR - CONTINUOUS 

A young woman is driving, wide eyed and white knuckled. She checks the mirror and sees a Hummer following close behind her. She looks ahead, sees the light changing to red on Las Vegas boulevard. She runs the light, narrowly avoiding pedestrians and cross traffic.

BRAN (V.O.)
There are a lot of drunks driving around Vegas, and everyone figured this was just another one. In fact, that's just what the police report said. But the police were wrong. Big surprise.

She turns onto a side street and stops near a freeway overpass. She checks the mirror again -- nothing. She sighs and reaches for a pack of cigarettes. As she does so the car lurches forward with a loud noise. She looks around to see the Hummer pushing the heavy car.

EXT- LUXURY CAR - CONTINUOUS 

The Hummer pushes her into a support for the elevated roadway at a high speed, swerving only just in time to avoid becoming a part of the collision.

She's slumped bleeding over the steering wheel as the Hummer speeds off into the darkness.

INT - BRAN'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON 

BRAN (V.O.)
This is where I'm supposed to start the story by saying something like 'I was sitting in my office that afternoon trying to decide which of my creditors to disappoint when this man walked in . . .'

The cluttered office of detective BRANDON CHRISTOPHER, located in a low-rent area near downtown. It looks as if it's never been systematically cleaned. There are bookshelves With novels by Hammett, Chandler, Spillane and other hard-boiled mystery writers prominently displayed. On a coat tree are hanging a trench coat and a fedora. Through the glass front door we can read BRANDON CHRISTOPHER and DETECTIVE in reverse. On a side table a teakettle is working up to a boil.

BRAN 
(to himself)
Who can't I pay today?

He's staring at his computer screen. On the screen is displayed a spreadsheet showing quite a few more payables than receivables. He glances at the teakettle then back at the screen when in walks KEVIN THOMAS.

KEVIN 
Are you Brandon Christopher, the detective?

BRAN 
That's what it says on the door. Is there something I can do for you?

KEVIN 
My name is Kevin Thomas. It's my sister. She was murdered.

Bran is watching the kettle while talking.

BRAN 
Then you need the police, not me. If your sister's missing I can find her for you, but . . .
(takes a beat to turn and face his visitor)
How do you know she's been murdered?

KEVIN 
The police say it was a traffic accident. But she worked for Charles Ryan.

BRAN 
Lots of people work for Ryan. What makes you think he had anything to do with her dying?

KEVIN 
Can I sit down?
(Bran gestures at a chair; Kevin sits)
She called me a few days ago. She sounded worried. Something she'd found at the office where she worked.

BRAN 
Where?

The teakettle whistles. Bran gets up to tend to it as they continue talking. He moves quickly as if trying to be efficient. His haste makes him spill hot water on himself. While wiping at his damp clothing with a dish towel he makes himself a cup of tea but he never offers any to Kevin.

KEVIN 
Where what?

BRAN 
Where did she work?

KEVIN 
At Continental Shipping. When she started working there she swore it was legit, but . . .

BRAN 
She was worried about something?

KEVIN 
Yes. She called, she sounded worried, and a day later she died.

By now Bran is sitting back behind his desk.

BRAN 
Was she drinking?
(sips his tea)

KEVIN 
Megan never drank. She hated the taste of alcohol.

BRAN 
Good for her.
(sips)
What exactly did the police report say?

KEVIN 
That she lost control and skidded into a bridge abutment. It's crap. She was a good driver and she never drank. Ryan had her killed, I know it. I just can't prove it.

BRAN 
You want me to do the proving for you?

Bran sees Kevin pull out a checkbook.

KEVIN 
Yes. And I can pay whatever you need. Just . . .

BRAN 
Okay, I'll look into it for a few days. Here . . .
(pushing a legal pad at Kevin)
Write down your name, how I get hold of you, your sister's full name, and the exact time of her accident. I'll be in touch.

KEVIN 
Oh, thank you. I . . .

BRAN 
Just write, Okay Mr. Thompson? It's a thousand dollars up front, then three-fifty a day plus expenses.

Mr. Thomas nods assent and starts writing a check.

KEVIN 
Just find out the truth, okay?

BRAN 
Right. Write down everything she told you while you're at it.

So begins my current project. What do you think? Is Bran really all that hard-boiled, or does he have a few things to learn about himself? Consider this logline: A hard-boiled Vegas-based vegetarian detective who also hates guns nonetheless manages to bring down a mob boss, make a new friend and find love all while learning that he's not all that hard-boiled after all.

If you'd like to see the entire WGA registered script, contact me here.

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